This is true story.

A couple nights ago some friends of ours saw a comedian (Billy Connolly) at the 37 Arts theatre in Hells Kitchen on 37th between 9th and 10th.

As they walked back to their hotel piles of garbage lined the streets waiting to be picked up. This is nightly occurrence through out Manhattan, so do not let that cloud you vision of choosing a place to live.

One of the bags started moving. It ruptured and out plopped a snapping turtle on its back.

Seriously. A snapping turtle. I swear this is true.

One of our friends decided to help the poor little fellow. After righting him, he thanked her with a bite to her ankle. She was wearing sandals.

(For those of you who do not know, when a snapping turtle bites in anger they do not let go unless you shove something in their nostrils. Well, at least, that's what my dad had to do when he got bit by a snapping turtle.)

After plenty of hoopla, and crying for help from the other theater patrons, a man from Florida saved the day. He shoved a pen in the snapping turtles nostril. The snapping turtle let go, and bit the pen. The man lifted the snapping turtle up and dropped him in a trash can.

Our friend went to the hospital and received aid including a saline drip for several hours to fight off any infection the turtle may have passed to her.

Now, how the snapping turtle got in the trash is good question. It's doubtful he made his way from the river for a midnight snack of sushi scraps and roasted coconut. Most likely he was a "pet", like the tiger and the crocodile found in an apartment a couple years back. The owner most likely decided to get rid of his exotic pet after he got bit. Why the owner did not set him free in a pond in the country or trade him on Craigslist for a massage or sell him to that realty show called Hells Kitchen for turtle soup is beyond me.

Stupid human implications aside, I like the idea that Hells Kitchen has as least one snapping turtle roaming the streets and is preserving the neighborhoods namesake with verve. If you choose to live in Hells Kitchen, we advise that you wear steel toe boots and carry a pen in case you get attacked by a snapping turtle.

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Reported by Michael Zittel